A: I am going to say yes, but with this stipulation: you have to take your best friend with you. And I think you know who I mean. *ahem*
A: Only one thing to do. Go over there and *boop* ‘em on the nose. All of your problems will be solved.
A: As cute as pouting may look on you, it’s probably not the most mature reaction. Talk it out with them, and save the pouty lip for your selfies.
A: Def sit on them.
A: I’m afraid I have my personal stylist to thank for that one. But I CANNOT stress color-coordination enough, and a little secret: www.frenchiebulldog.com
A: Pounce at yourself in the mirror a bunch of times while showering yourself with compliments. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world!
A: Sometimes playing sports can tap into that competitive vibe which can help you channel a more ‘go-getter’ attitude.
Just make sure you’re bigger than the ball. That can be awkward.
A: Um, no. Cut out the middle man and send YOURSELF flowers instead.
A: Um, kids are so easy. Just let them ride in the grocery cart. Duh.
A: Pretend you’re totally fine.
And eventually, after months of fake smiling and feigning confidence, you’ll discover that you actually ARE fine. And then you’ll smile for real!
A: Two words: SOFT. BLANKIE.
A: If you’re not doing water ballet, then you are doing it wrong.
A: Just soak up the rays, dude. The other dogs agree with me.
A: I usually lose my shit just BEING outside, but I have to say that the one time I did outdoor yoga was pretty rad… kind of.
A: Stand on the balcony and stare off into the distance as if you’re a deep and interesting person. And if someone asks what you’re thinking about just say “What?… Oh, I’m sorry. I was busy thinking about the dichotomy of life and death.”
A: I think humans generally turn to spirituality in these times of hardship? And If that doesn’t work, you can just stare at the toilet as it flushes. That always gives me a renewed zest for life!
A: I can’t in good conscience tell you what to do about that, since I’m just gonna end up eating it anyway.
A: I’m just gonna assume that you mistyped that and you actually meant ‘How can I make my weekend more full of naps?’
Get your blankie and shut those peepers!
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